Today was my ultimate case of the Mondays. After coming home late from camping last night and having a leisurely morning to unpack my car, get gas, etc., I felt sluggish. So, while I was filling up the old tank, I strolled through the gas station for a pick-me-up. And that’s where I saw them.
To stick out in a shelf full of junk food is commendable. White, teal, yellow, red. I always give them a glance when looking through that particular aisle but today I need the sunniest option to improve my cloudy morning.
CornNuts came to be after Albert Holloway, who had been producing corn nuts for 30 years, spent 10 years researching a hybrid of Peruvian Cusco corn that would prosper in California. So the 1960s rolled around and BOOM! Large, luxurious CornNuts. Am I the only one who appreciates that a decade of thought and effort went into these little guys?
Cue Chile Picante con limon. Back in my CornNuts heyday I went for the Ranch flavor. Original was too bland, and BBQ was not always available, so Ranch it was. This yellow compatriot, however, was not always around.
The first thing I noticed is that Kraft Foods Global, Inc. is kind enough to put the nutrition info for the entire bag on the back, write in capital letters that there are 4 servings per package on the front and provide a choking warning for children younger than 6 on the back. With no extraneous copy on the bag, it’s nice being informed only of the important tidbits.
Chile Picante con limon is a milder flavor of CornNuts. I can’t say I taste the chile or picante, but the limon is pervasive. Evidently, lime is a good balance for corn flavor. It’s also a pleasant change of pace to eat a snack that isn’t so salty to induce mouth-froth. #ThingsThatAreNotSymptomaticOfRabies
But, a corn nut is as a corn nut does. And corn nuts are a cacophonous concerto when chewed (say that 5 times fast!) The best part about eating these things is the godawful noise they make during mastication. A good portion of those 10 years must have been dedicated to perfecting the volume for this snack. The volume that works just right to drown out the one thought running through my mind: “Are my teeth gonna come out okay after this?”
One serving later my teeth are achy and I’m blissfully content with a belly full of Cali-Peruvian hybrid super corn. These snack s are slightly healthier than other treats within an arm’s reach at the gas station. Plus, they’re recommended by 9/10 sheisty dentists!
Nutrition Info (per bag)
|Calories||520, 26% DV|
|Total Fat||18g, 28% DV|
|Sodium||1,190mg, 50% DV|
*These calculations are based on a 2,000 calorie diet, which is indulgent and wholly unrealistic.