Thirsty Thursday. Because I get so thirsty, I need more than one drink.
The first time I’d ever heard of sweet tea was from a Kevin James stand up special. He emphasized how enthusiastic Southerners are about the beverage. It was noted and logged into my pubescent brain. Somewhere next to stills of Ryan Phillippe.
Much time has passed since then. Even more time has passed since the release of Madonna’s Ray of Light, which was playing at the gas station as I was picking out today’s competition. I took this anthem from Madonna’s glory days (1998-2005, no doubt about it) as a great sign.
And then the battle royale began:
Arizona Southern Style Real Brewed Sweet Tea
Yes that’s what they called it. You can’t make a laboriously long name like that up. Not to mention, the black-and-white steamboats on the can really enforce that this is real, home-style Southern*.
*Steamboats? Really? If Penzoil were to sell me a bottle of motor oil with a picture of a Model T on the front I’d run and buy a Nissan Leaf.
But, odd packaging aside, the flavor isn’t bad at all. I have never been to the South and do not claim to be an expert. Funny enough, I think the first time I ever consumed sweet tea was in Arizona. This variety tastes okay. It’s relatively mild, although definitely sweet. The sugary flavor travels around your mouth cavity (technical phrase, look it up) and lingers for a New Orleans minute.
Brisk Sweet Tea Iced Tea
First, let me offer a disclaimer that, hopefully, won’t cheapen me in your eyes. If a product (be it iced tea, shoes or spackling paste) has a picture depicting a woman mid-coitus on the label, I will definitely buy it.
And I have photographic proof. Up top.
The Brisk Iced Tea Sweet Tea has the same tangy, incredibly artificial notes as standard Brisk Iced Tea. Sweetness is key here, though. There’s enough sugar in a swig of this to somehow distract you from the Brisk flavor.
Not much more needs to be said other than the lady on the front of the bottle enjoyed her Sweet Tea experience way more than I did.
THE WINNER: Arizona blah blah blah Sweet Tea
To my own merit, I barely browsed the nutritional label when selecting today’s competitors. Hence, I must say it wasn’t the fairest of battles. The trademark Brisk artificiality was no match for Arizona’s “100% natural, no preservatives, no artificial flavor, no artificial color” promise. But that’s not what’s most important.
Brisk’s brand of sweetness is too sweet. The sweetness is sharp and garish, while Arizona’s takes a more mellow course. Although, if you compare the prices of the two versus ounces per bottle, you definitely get more bang (literally, look at the label) for your buck with Brisk.
Nutrition Info: Both drinks bat for Team Diabetes. Drinker beware.