Milky Way Simply Caramel

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“Holy shit, that’s a lot of caramel!”

The aforementioned sentence fully describes my interior monologue while playing with and eating my Milky Way Simply Caramel bar. It’s nothing but caramel encased in an oblong shell of chocolate. I write this after three bites and I swear my heart is beating more slowly.

My first foray into candy bar writing comes as somewhat of a shock to me. As I survey the aisles, it finally dawns on me: I haven’t done a single candy bar this whole time. From energy drinks, to Hostess Sno Balls, I have sampled so much snack food (and drink) … but no candy bar? This must come from years of conditioning I have gone through. You know, when your eye gets caught by the Twix bar, shining like an entry into Roald Dahl’s beloved chocolate factory, and you tell yourself “NO!” At least that’s how it works for me.

milky way bar, milky way chocolate, candy bar, caramel candy, mars bars

Chocolate barchitecture. Get it?

As far as this too-sweet treat is concerned, if you are immune to caramel overloads and are a huge sugar fan, this may just be the candy bar for you. Or, you may be someone who is suffering from dental issues (such as loss of all teeth); in this case, gum away, my friends.

I, however, couldn’t even finish half the Milky Way Simply Caramel bar. And I didn’t want to put anybody in my direct vicinity through the torture of trying to stomach the other half. I guess the old platitude “Don’t eat anything in the Snickers row that isn’t a Snickers,” rings true. Haven’t heard of that saying? You must not live on Mars.

Nutrition Info (per bar)

Calories 250, 12.5% DV
Total Fat 11g, 17% DV
Sugars 31g

*These calculations are based on a 2,000 calorie diet, which is indulgent and wholly unrealistic.


6 comments on “Milky Way Simply Caramel

  1. I haven’t had this one, but their regular and dark bars are one of the few commercial chocolate bars I will indulge in. My suggestion is to try a gourmet dark bar with caramel and sea salt & see if you feel the same way. 🙂

  2. I have an insane sweet tooth that is unmatched (and believe it or not, I have very healthy and straight teeth… probably because my teeth are made of Lutetium). This candy bar intrigues me. I might have to go get one and give it a review myself. It sounds like forbidden sorcery.

  3. […] by our junkfood partner-in-crime Tanya over at Gas Station Gastronomy, and her review can be read here. Based on the picture posted, it appeared to just be a big block of caramel that is coated in […]

  4. […] Milky Way Simply Caramel post was the very first venture into the candy bar aisle for this gastronomer. So I found myself […]

  5. Had not heard “Don’t eat anything in the Snickers row that isn’t a Snickers,”, but love it!

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